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Mondo Zen E GO D ECONSTRUCTION K OANS

E MOTIONAL A WARENESS I NTERVENTION K OANS

T RAINING M ANUAL A PRIL 2012

H OLLOW BONES ZEN /F RIENDS OF ZEN

WWW .MONDOZEN .ORG

2009

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The deepest of gratitude for all Sangha Sisters and Brothers who have contributed to this Mondo ZenTraining Manual. In particular, I want to thank:

Eido Shimano RoshiDai En George Burch Roshi

Ken WilberAmrita Tara Sandra Foulk

Alaric NaimanKo Gen Keith Martin-Smith

Tai So Byran BartowRei Shin Denise LeongDa Ji Corrina Peterson

Ananda Steven MarshankVicara Mary Connelly

Do Shin MJ Nelson

Mitchell. J. FrangadakisKevala Deb HoffmannFugen Tom PitnerSanchi Reta Lawler

Jun Po Kelly Roshi Abbott, Hollow Bones Zen

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Table of Contents

Awaken and Embody the Teacher Within

Context and Introduction ............................................................................................................. 1

History ........................................................................................................................................ 1

About Mondo Zen ....................................................................................................................... 4

The Koan Process, Part I:

Mondo Zen Ego Deconstruction/Reconstruction Koans, A Zen Transmission ............. 8

1. Is it possible to just purely listen? Can you listen without an opinion? ..................................... 10

2. Where is this deeper listening located within your body? ....................................................... 11

3. Who are you, who am I, who are we within this deep, heartfelt listening? .............................. 12

4. Now we will differentiate I Dont Know vs. Not Knowing .................................................. 13

5. What are you like, what are we like, at this depth of consciousness? ....................................... 15

6. Now leave out your words. Express your new insight with a silent gesture of embodiedconsciousness ............................................................................................................................. 16

7. Choose a name for Clear Deep Heart/Mind . Call to and respond from and with this awarenessusing this name. Call to and respond using your common name. ................................................. 17

8. Does this Clear Deep Heart/Mind come and go? ..................................................................... 18

9. How can you be absolutely certain that this Clear Deep Heart/Mind is real? What is the first thingyou must do to manifest this realization and understanding in your life? ..................................... 19

10. What feelings arise when you experience this insight and understanding? ............................ 20

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The Koan Process, Part II:

Mondo Zen Emotional Awareness Intervention Koans, A Zen Transmission ............. 23

11. Has anyone ever made you angry, shamed you or made you disconnect, shut down? ........... 24

12. Silently, through your eyes and with your body, demonstrate the intense clarity and deepcaring that always arises before you choose a negative reaction. Now, show me Clear DeepHeart/Mind ................................................................................................................................26

13. Visualize yourself transforming a habitual negative reaction into a conscious, compassionateresponse ..................................................................................................................................... 28

Integrating Old Reactive Patterns with New Understanding ........................................................ 30

Key Concepts .............................................................................................................................36

Hollow Bones Zen Training Elements: Five Practice Mirrors ........................................................ 38

Meditation Instruction ............................................................................................................... 39

Glossary ..................................................................................................................................... 42

What It Really Takes: Sixty-Day Mondo Zen Practice .................................................................... 45

Remember:Clear Deep Heart/Mind is the way!

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CONTEXT AND INTRODUCTION There is a huge amount of unnecessary suffering in the world unnecessary, because it does not arisedirectly from our life circumstances, but from the conditioned way in which we react to our ownmisunderstood inner feelings. Anger, shame and other painful emotional reactions are really forms ofviolence, directed against self and others. Because of this confusion we also waste tremendousamounts of time and energy in depression, self-judgment, envy, jealousy and other self-defeatingpatterns.

In order to alleviate this suffering, we need deeper insight into and understanding of our minds, as wellas the deeper nature and purpose of our emotions. We need to see through our ego and experienceour true nature. We need to meditate long enough and deep enough to realize our Clear DeepHeart/Mind (also called Zen, Chan, Dhyana , and meditative mind). We will then experience theconcern and compassion that underlie all of our habitual, negative emotional reactions. To accomplish

this, we need to change our understanding and develop genuine insight. Once we change ourunderstanding and experience this truth, we recognize our anger, shame, disconnection and otherpainful emotional reactions as confused immature reactions to genuine concern. In this way, throughour Mondo Zen practice, we transform our negative emotional reactions into wise, compassionateresponses and alleviate all forms of suffering. Our angst becomes our liberation.

Jun Po Kelly Roshi Abbott, Hollow Bones Zen

HISTORYSiddhartha Gautama, the 6 th -century BCE Indian prince we now call Buddha, renounced his life of easeto study and practice yoga for eight years and then asceticism for four years. He then sat down inmeditation for forty nine days, finally Awakened and founded his own yoga school. He taught thephilosophy, psychology and practical disciplines that he had used to liberate himself and end his egosuffering. He taught that we must first realize and understand three truths: impermanence, physicalsuffering and selflessness.

Impermanence : When we truly realize understand and embody impermanence , we no longer graspand cling to that which is eventually going away no matter how tenaciously we cling. This realization

brings gratitude, as we now fully experience and appreciate the ephemeral nature of this life, thisfleeting gift.

Suffering : When we truly realize that the pain we experience in sickness, old age and death is anunavoidable and natural part of living, we no longer try to flee when pain inevitably arises. We discoverthe delightful truth that, while discomfort is real, suffering is always optional.

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Selflessness : When we truly realize selflessness , we experience the pure empty nature of our mind andspirit. We experience our ego s thinking and feeling as just temporary sensing, not a permanent self. Atlast we experience genuine insight and know who we really are. Knock, knock! Whos there?Nobody!

These three must become realization experiences, not just concepts!

Clean ing up our l anguage Phi loso phic al reor ienta t ion: Correctund ers tand ing i s the fi r s t s t ep upo n the Budd ha pa th

Ego simply means all activities of self-referencing mind all thoughts, emotions and emotionalreactions, both positive and negative. It is more accurate and liberating to view ego as a temporaryfigment of imagination. Why? Because the ego comes and goes, it changes with time, it disappears indeep sleep, it can become demented or psychotic, and it eventually dies. The problem with our ego,this self-maintaining illusion, is that it formed within us before we were developed enough toconsciously recognize our True Self, our deeper nature. So we identified with the workings of ego, andwere taught and came to believe that it was all we really were. But it is only because Dhyana,meditative mind, Pure Awareness, exists that our ego can arise and continue to arise. Without deeppure empty mind, there is no location for ego to arise. Thus ego mind proves the presence of deepermind, and it is through ego mind that we return to Dhyana Clear Deep Heart/Mind . You can nowconfirm this for yourself. One way to recognize this is through ego regression, going back through timeto your young child state, then to your infantile state into unconditioned mind, where you experienceonly instinctual reactions like hunger and discomfort. You have no words, no names for things likemama, dada, and as you grow younger, and are unable to walk or control your bowels, you

eventually experience no distinction between self and other, no inside and outside. You are just pure,unconditioned empty pre-ego consciousness.

Philosophically, it is important to understand that this temporary ego you constructed is not bad, or something to destroy or get away from. You need a strong and confident ego to function in the world,and this does not change. Liberation comes when your ego is seen through, deconstructed, re-informed and reconstructed to include the realization of its essential emptiness and deeper emotionalnature. To do this, you must release your attachment to , and change your understanding of , the natureand structure of your temporary ego. The practice of Mondo Zen is an efficient path to this realization.

Enlightenment does not mean that your ego is suppressed or denied; it means it is deconstructed, seenthrough, exposed and then re-educated, re-constructed, including the realization and preciselyarticulated understanding of these deeper truths.

The Buddha taught that the temporary self-referencing activity of our ego, the interplay withinconsciousness of our thoughts and emotional feelings, is a temporary sensing phenomenon. He taughtthat we are, at the core of our being, now and eternally, empty of any permanent, abiding self-nature.

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If you look deep enough you know this is true. What part of your small individual self, of yourconditioned mind, could possibly be permanent and eternal? If we are insightfully honest, the answeris none. Realizing and understanding the meaning of this truth is the first step on this path tofreedom.

The Buddha also taught that anyone willing to follow a practice path including correct philosophicalunderstanding, concentration, meditation and precept-governed ethics will eventually realize this truthand become liberated from ego suffering, free from destructive habitual emotional reactions to fearsuch as anger, shame, disconnection, jealousy and envy. With practice, we develop genuine insight,enlighten our philosophy. With the addition of emotional koans, we transform our psychology and canfinally live life in awe-filled appreciation for the sacred gift that it is.

The first step upon this Buddha path to awakening begins with our ego gaining a correctunderstanding. It is not sufficient to just practice concentration and meditation. We need to change

our philosophy because our conditioned view prevents realization from transforming our lives. Putsimply, we can only experience as true what our philosophy says we can experience as true. So anincorrect philosophical orientation actually blocks our awakening. This is why we ask you to set asideyour beliefs for a few moments and freely experience what arises without putting it into an orientingphilosophy. You might consider yourself Christian, Muslim, Jew, Scientific Materialist, Buddhist,Atheist, Hindu or Wiccan. We ask you to become a temporary agnostic during this practice, to allowyou to find for yourself a deeper and more encompassing, liberating truth.

We need to remove the philosophical barrier to insight created when we personify the dualisticfunction within the process of perception. You sit there , I sit here. We seem to be two. This temporaryexperience of a separate self naturally and continually arises. The error in logic causing this is simple I think , therefore I am. If something arises in my mind, I assume there must be some separate personexperiencing that arising. We are misled by the reflective aspect between sensing and consciousnesswithin the purity of our awareness, and define this function as a separate subjective self. Is it possiblethat the idea that you are a separate self is actually a misunderstanding? Is it possible that I think,therefore I am might not be accurate? Maybe, I am, therefore there is thinking. Is it possible thatthis self-referencing is only a temporary and transient function within mind, just a figment of divineimagination?

Why does this matter? It matters because meditation with an incorrect understanding not only limitsour insight, but can lead to suppression of feelings, rigid self-identification, ego-inflation, mania ornihilism. Having a strong and consistent meditation practice is one of the most important steps you canundertake to awaken. But knowing exactly why you are meditating having the right philosophicalframework is just as important. We call this shift in understanding moving your perspective fromegocentric to Buddhacentric.

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ABOUT MONDO ZENMondo Zen is based on Japanese and Chinese Zen, updated for the 21 st Century. Mondo Zentranscends the hierarchical/authoritarian, gender-biased and constraining monastic aspects oftraditional Zen in favor of practical, experiential in the world engagement . Relying only on direct

personal experience as taught by the Buddha himself it does not allow mythic constructs tocomplicate its philosophical orientation. This includes ideas such as reincarnation, soul as personality,bardo realms, past lives, a creator deity, and other faith-based beliefs. It is important that in ourpractice of Mondo Zen we consciously choose to set aside all such ideas at least until we haveexperienced, tested and evaluated for ourselves a more direct way of knowing. Why is this important?This is important because these beliefs and concepts force our immediate experience into a containerof pre-defined understanding. This robs us of the meaning of deeper insight. By letting go of ourattachment to our beliefs and mythologies, at least while we are actively doing this practice, weremove a barrier to insight caused by our attachment to those views. Leave old concepts at the door

with your hat and shoes you can always pick them up again on the way out, if they still fit!

Ko an Dialog Pract ice

Mondo per se is an ancient Chinese koan dialog practice. A koan is a special kind of inquiry, anenigmatic question intended to awaken one to a deeper truth. To answer a koan one must have anactual realization experience, not just an intellectual understanding of the puzzle. The function of akoan is to break through the neuro-linguistic philosophical language barrier, allowing you to experiencethe Clear Deep Heart/Mind within you. Koans are designed to enlighten you. Mondo Zen protocolseffectively transmit and share this correct understanding. The koan questions asked in our dialog can

be confusing at first because they deconstruct your current philosophy, induce insight and create anew philosophical understanding, awakening you into Clear Deep Heart/Mind . With this two-foldunderstanding experiential and philosophical we experience the openness and fearless stabilitywithin our ordinary mind. We can then acquire new language, language that articulates, accesses,recognizes, realizes and maintains awareness of Clear Deep Heart/Mind .

Mondo dialog incorporates four divisions of koan study from our historical Rinzai school: insight,spontaneity, verbal and precept koans. Mondo Zen koan dialog is comprised of thirteen koans. The firstten are insight, spontaneity and verbal koans. The last three koans are emotional koans, precept koans.These emotional koans provide a process that transforms our habitual negative emotional reactionsinto compassionate intelligent responses. During this dialog, your answers to the koan questions willbe challenged for additional clarification to ground your new understanding.

The Mondo Zen dialog dialectic practice works like this:

1. We help you to deconstruct your current philosophical view, which leads to insight.

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2. Standing within this insight, you witness how you have been blocking realization of your truenature by holding a confused, illusory and ignorant view.

3. This insight transforms your understanding of the nature of your mind.

4. With this experience confirmed as your foundational perspective, you construct and choose a new,liberating philosophy.

5. You then, through your own emotional koan practice, integrate this new understanding into youreveryday life.

Please know and remember that throughout this Mondo Zen Dialog you are your own teacher . Youare led in Mondo to new insight experience, and you claim this experience as your new understanding.No one can do this for you!

In the Buddhist tradition, we refer to this sharing of an insightful conscious state as transmission.We describe this process as inter -subjective because the experien ce exists in a conscious containerformed by all present. The truth is that this teaching transmission travels in both directions fromstudent to teacher as much as from teacher to student.

Benef it s o f Mondo Zen Liberates us to experience a more joyful, compassionate presence: Samadhi!

Allows us to take another seat, a more enlightened seat, a fearless seat.

Provides an integrated under -standing rather than an egocentric over -standing. Transforms our emotions. Our angst becomes our liberation!

Creates a fully informed, deeply feeling, disciplined, fearless, non-violent emotional body.

Our Five Essent ia l Pract ices

We utilize five essential practices to awaken wisdom and compassion and transform our daily lives.They are :

Sacred Stewardship Be in conscious, loving, compassionate relationship with all you consume orpurchase. Give more back to this Sacred Earth than you take from it.

Philosophical Reorientation Koans Your current philosophical understanding is blocking yourrealization. The thoughts and language you use to define reality have programmed you to allow onlycertain experiences to happen or to be believed when they do happen. You are trapped by a pre-existing conceptual structure, which both defines and is defined by your beliefs. In other words, you

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can only accept what you already believe and have named/labeled. Openness agnosticism orbeginners mind permits un-programmed experience, unconstrained by previous concepts. MondoZen is designed to elicit such genuine experiences. Then, a clear philosophical articulation of themeaning of our insight allows us to integrate that meaning into daily life. Put simply, there is a thinking

problem that is preventing your Awakening and integration. Our solution for this is Mondo Zen EgoDeconstruction/Reconstruction, Philosophical Reorientation practice. This practice includes study ofclassical Buddhist teachings, including the Three Marks of Existence, the Four Noble Truths, the ThreeMain Kleshas, the Kalama Sutra, the Heart Sutra and the Eightfold Path. Ours is an evolving tradition,and we also include more recent teaching and insights from disciplines such as psychology andneuroscience. A clearly articulated philosophical understanding is crucial to claim and integratemeditative insight. If y ou cant articulate an experience, its as though it never happened.

Emotional Maturity and Integrity Koans Your experience and understanding of your emotions maybe creating tremendous suffering in your life and the lives of those around you. From Clear Deep

Heart/Mind , emotions are no different from your other senses. Their function is simply to bringinformation to your consciousness. We must realize that we have always chosen our reactions to ourfeelings, either consciously or unconsciously. In order to extract the real useful information that is ineach moments feelings, w e need to drop limiting beliefs about the nature and intent of feeling. In thisway, we can allow our angst to become what it actually is, the door to our liberation. In this wayemotional discomfort becomes a gift, tool and resource:

Angst is a reminder to use the skills we are mastering. Angst awakens us and we transformignorance and delusion into wisdom and compassionate action.

Angst provides an opportunity to witness this transition with delight and appreciation.

Reacting negatively to our emotional feelings is primarily a philosophical problem. The unpleasant,problematic negative emotional reaction is the result of a confused philosophy. Our solution for this isMondo Zen Emotional Koan Awareness Intervention practice. Never doubt the imperturbability ofyour True Pure Awareness! Never doubt the invincible compassion of your True Pure Heart!

Conscious Embodiment Master one of the energy art forms, such as Aikido, Qi Gong, Tai Chi orclassical Asana Yoga. The pain and lack of flexibility within your body, and your mind s resistance tostillness, is trying to reveal something to you. Find out what the message is.

Genuine Insight Practice meditation. A lack of genuine insight is the major reason people dontrealize their true selfless nature. A proven solution is Mondo Koan Concentration/Meditation practice.

What is most essential is the practice of Dhyana, meditative mindfulness, Clear Deep Heart/Mind , which enables us to experience the absolute purity of our deepest nature and to hold thistranspersonal truth in the complexity of our personal lives!

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Collaborat ion

At this point, it is important to recognize and remember that the Mondo Zen process is a full, heart-mind collab oration between student and teacher. In particular, the teacher/facilitator will remaindeeply grounded and present in Clear Deep Heart/Mind . From Clear Deep Heart/Mind , the facilitator

invites the participant to join in and remain in this state of clarity throughout the dialog. A vitalfunction of the facilitator is to transmit the state we are investigating and hold the integrity of thecontainer, keeping everyone from getting lost in philosophical chatter or attempting to do therapy.

Our hope is that you will enjoy a profound, integrative experience that will change your life in ways youwant, starting right now! Our primary intentions for this session are:

Introduce Mondo koan practice.

See through, experience and correctly understand the deeper nature of ego mind.

Have an actual taste of the liberating realization experience of no-self (Dhyana),Clear Deep Heart/Mind .

Establish and articulate a new liberating philosophy, shift your perspective from egocentric toBuddhacentric.

Support and give feedback as both understanding and experience evolve.

Create Emotional Transformation Koans so you can carry this practice home, build it into andtransform your own life, and share it with others.

Let us now take our first step together!

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THE KOAN PROCESS, PART I:

MONDO ZEN EGO DECONSTRUCTION/RECONSTRUCTIONKOANS, A ZEN TRANSMISSION

An ego insists upon its view. It must this is how it preserves its identity. We live through the story weremember, continue to believe and project into the world. It is important to realize that, at a very deeplevel, there is a part of us that is absolutely afraid to change and will resist change even while webelieve we want it. How many times have you set out to change your life only to find somesubconscious, shadow part of you resisting and sabotaging your evolution?

To the controlling part of our ego, this is simply a matter of survival. What precious part of us are wetruly willing to let die? How do we surrender who we think and believe we are? When will we finally bewilling to die, to be reborn, to update and enlighten our stories, dramas, traumas; our roles as victim or

villain, hero or heroine? Here we are. Realize that this may very well be your time to awaken more fullyfrom the confining dream of ego-as-a-permanent-self!

The Control ler Within

To move forward, we need at least temporary permission from your Controller. Your Controller is thedeepest part of your ego. Your greatest fear is that you will lose control of your emotions, your senseof self, your body or your life. Can you feel that part of your ego mind that controls?

Your Controller is a faithful, necessary and loyal part of your ego that also, unfortunately, prevents youfrom experiencing things as they actually are. It is probably telling you to be suspicious of this veryprocess and to hold onto what you already know. Do you have a sense of your Controller? Can youunderstand and feel how, without that strong controlling part of yourself, you would be overwhelmed?

Our Mondo dialog requires a mutual agreement to complete honesty and openness. In order forMondo to be effective you must be willing to engage the koan questions fearlessly and completely.Your answers to these koans will be challenged until you experience genuine insight and express clearunderstanding. Are you willing to engage in this? Are you willing to stay right here, engaged, taking allof this in and speaking out if you have a concern?

We recognize and honor your Controller and invite you to take on a broader outlook and a moreinclusive vision of control.

Concentra t ion/Medi ta t ion

We begin the Mondo Zen dialog with guided concentration/meditation. In our tradition, meditationhas three parts. First, we perfectly concentrate the mind on one point (Dharana). When we achievethis perfect, one-pointed concentration, we recognize Dhyana mind, our deep meditative mind in

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which the concentrating is taking place. When we experience, realize, understand and claim this depthof mind, we smile. We finally transcend, see through our ego, and experience genuine insight andfreedom. This realization brings unreasonable enjoyment (Samadhi). We could use any of our senses(we include thinking and feeling as senses) to concentrate our mind.

We now begin with a ten-minute concentration meditation. With each in-breath, silently recite theword listen . Listen more deeply than you ever have listened and follow the sound of the bell intoabsolute silence. With each out-breath, silently with passion recite the word listen. Throughout ourdialog we ask you to remain aware of and connected to this deeper listening. With each in-breath,draw deeper into pure silence, every time the bell is struck, follow the sound deeper within and listenmore deeply. Listen from and as perfect silence.

Facilitator: After five minutes read:

Master Lao Tzu says:

Empty your mind of all thoughts.Let your heart be at peace.

Watch the turmoil of beings,but contemplate their return.

Each separate being in the universereturns to this common source.

Returning to the source is serenity.

If you don't realize this source,you stumble in confusion and sorrow.

When you realize where you come from,you naturally become tolerant,

disinterested, amused,kindhearted as a grandmother,

dignified as a king. ( Emotionally liberated )

Immersed in the wonder of the Tao ( Now ),you can deal with whatever life brings you,

and when death comes, you are ready.

Facilitator: After 10 minutes of sitting, continue:

Now can I have permission to talk with the real Controller, the one who is absolutely resistant tochange, the one who is humoring me right now? Will you, the real Controller, open up and allow a shiftin your understanding? You can have a better, larger, more important and inclusive controlling job. Youwont be asked to go away, but to expand and experience a more enlightened view.

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The Buddha said: Do not trust teachers, teachings or institutions. Trust only that which is true in yourown experience. (See the Kalama Sutra .) We invite you to experience this truth for yourself bytemporarily giving up all of your limiting beliefs, ideas and concepts. Embrace B eginners Mind anddiscover what your experiences can mean for you as we investigate these koans together .

Facilitator Guide: When you give the instruction, and when you sit together in silence, you musttransmit the state of deep listening, not just mouth the signifiers, the words! Note that here (oranywhere in this Mondo process) when you or they lose deeper awareness and become overlyconceptual, emotionally distracted or tongue-tied, remember to stop the dialog and ring the bell a fewtimes to drop everyone back into Clear Deep Heart/Mind . Remember to maintain clear eye contactthroughout this dialog.

Monitor your teaching skills using the TRUCK method:

Did you Transmit the koan?Did they experience Realization (insight)?Did they Understand ?Did they Claim this understanding by articulating it?If so, you both Know !

Facilitator: Strike the bell.

Fir s t Ko an : Is i t pos s ib le to jus t p ure ly l is t en? Can you l i s t en w i thou t ano p i n i o n ?

You have listened as deeply as you can to the ringing sound of this bell. Reflect and connect to thisdepth of listening. Is it possible to listen with no agenda, no opinion? Is there just pure listening? Isyour mind deeper than the awareness of sound arising within it, deeper than the thought, listen? Isthere a deeper listening than the sense of I am listening? Is this mind deeper and more spacious thanwhat arises within it? Is this mind more than the sensations, thoughts and emotional feelings that areexperienced within it? Is there pure un-opinionated listening?

Explanation: With this koan we realize, identify and claim this awareness that transcends whatever isarising within this awareness, this Clear Deep Mind. We prevent realization of ever-present selflessClear Deep Mind by not meditating, ignoring a fundamental truth philosophically, using confusedlanguage and persisting in an immature psychology. Once we change our understanding and have thisrealization experience, we have begun to Awaken. This may be your first point of realization of ClearDeep Mind or a ripening of seeds already growing. This un-opinionated listening is Dhyana, Zen mind.Understand the difference between conceptual listening and deep listening. With this koan we havebegun to deconstruct your perspective, your philosophical view.

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Facilitator Guide: The first answers to these koans may be just intellectual; this is okay. We are buildinga philosophical neuro-linguistic structure that will allow the participant to experience deeper insight. Ifanswers seem more thought than felt, have the participant slow down to experience this deeperlistening. If they seem unable to have this experience right now, ask if it is at least philosophically

possible that there could be such un-opinionated awareness within us. Can they accept this as a possibility and move on? Even the idea of this truth is enough to carry through the koans, and they willbe able to go deeper as we move along. Throughout this Mondo process, should you or they becomeemotionally disturbed or confused, remember to ring the bell mindfully to drop everyone back in.

Remember throughout this process to point out any moments of enjoyment caused purely by insight.Suggest that this delightful Samadhi is volitionally accessible and we can choose to live here. When theyexperience this Samadhi, you can always see this through the expression in their eyes.

If there is time, have the participant read the koan text and explanation after each koan. If working

with a monitor or group, have the monitor or one of the participants read the koan explanation andcheck with them to confirm everyones experience and understanding.

Enough, these few words are enough!If not these words, this breath!

If not this breath, this sitting here!This opening to life we have refused again and again, until now!

Until now!

David Whyte

Facilitator: Sit two minutes with the bell.

Second Koan: Where i s th i s deeper l i s t en ing loc a ted w i th in your body ?

Where is this deep listening located within your body? Slow waaay down! Search deeply within yourphysical body, release your egos need to know, and just listen. Where is the locus of the deepestawareness within you? Point to or touch this place.

Explanation: This koan realization reveals that there is a physical location for Clear Deep Mind

listening. This location is in our heart. Locating and identifying this heartfelt awareness establishes apathway that we can follow to return and reconnect with Clear Deep Heart/Mind , Dhyana, wheneverwe want to or need to. When genuinely and deeply experienced, this realization includes compassionas promised within the Zen tradition. Zen is the marriage of wisdom, clear mind and compassion,unconditional love. It has been very enlightening to discover that almost no one we work with touchesor points to their ego, their head. When we release our ego identification and genuinely listen, we

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naturally find ourselves in our deep-felt compassionate heart center. Here, after the experience ofheartfelt listening, we add the word Heart to Clear Deep Mind.

Now that you have located this deeper awareness of Clear Deep Heart/Mind , focus your awareness inthe center of your heart. Look out from your heart through your ego. For the rest of this koan dialog,

listen and respond from here. Keep your Clear Deep Heart/Mind open.

Facilitator Guide: If they cannot drop down out of their head, direct them to listen from their centralchest and experience the difference. Be sure to get their Controller to describe the difference in feeling both physically and psychologically between their ego/head listening and deeper heart listening. Ifthey feel the sound in their stomach or solar plexus, ask them if they can breathe the sensation up intotheir heart. If they continue to feel the sound in their head, guide them in moving the sound down totheir chest until they can feel the difference. If they remain in some other part of their body and cannotcome into their heart, have them bring awareness of deep heart listening to wherever it can best be

felt. Remember to ask their Controller to articulate new understanding at moments of insight.

Throughout this dialog,consider ringing the bell every few minutes, as the sound of the bell has beenestablished as an injunction recalling deeper mind.

Facilitator: Sit one minute with the bell, then read:

Master Bassui says:

Who is hearing?Your physical being doesnt hear,

nor does the void.Then what does?Strive to find out.

Put aside your rational Intellect,Give up all techniques.

Just get rid of the notion of self.

Third Ko an: Who are you , wh o am I , wh o are we wi thin th is deep, hear t fel tl i s t en ing?

Who are you, who am I, who are we within this deep, heartfelt listening?

Explanation: The true answer to this question is, I dont know. This koan reveals our state of egoconfusion about our deeper self-identity. At this depth of mind we do not know who we are. Thisrealization allows us the freedom of not knowing. In not knowing there are infinite possibilities. We arefinally getting nowhere. Has listening ever spoken, ever said anything? When we experience this depthof Mind there is much to say, but this depth of Mind has never spoken. Through experiencing notknowing, we begin to open to and clarify our experience of deeper identity. At this depth of

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Clear Deep Heart/Mind , we are nakedly aware and silent, not opinionated. We are simply purewitnessing Awareness. Lacking this insight experience, we remain exclusively ego-bound, unaware thatwe can access, speak and live from not knowing within Clear Deep Heart/Mind . So we live in ignoranceand denial of this deeper reality. This not knowing is the realization of empty mind or spirit, the

selflessness referred to in Buddhist philosophy: No-Self, Anatta; and Emptiness, Shunyata.Facilitator Guide: The answer we accept and look for is, I dont know; they may need coaching to getto this answer. Let them answer incorrectly several times; they will answer giving you a thought or a

feeling. Accept each answer and then ask them to listen more deeply . If they do not arrive at I dontknow, suggest that it seems that at this depth they do not know who they are, true? When they admit

this, agree with them: At this depth, I dont know either. At last were getting nowhere!

From the egos position, not knowing can be frightening. From Clear Deep Heart/Mind , it is simplythe Truth, the root of unbounded, peaceful freedom. Pure listening, pure awareness at this depth of

mind doesnt know anything! Pure listening has never spoken! You must ask your questions from thisstate. Remember, these koans must be a transmission. You must transmit this state of consciousness,not just point to this state with words!

Facilitator: Sit two minutes with the bell.

Fourth K oan: Now w e wil l d i fferent iate I Dont Know vs . Not Knowing . Who are you? I will ask you this several times. First answer, claim and say, I dont know,speculating from the ego, your head (over-standing). Now get in touch with your heart and with thepart of yourself that was, a moment ago, just listening without an opinion. Can you feel this part ofyourself once again? Now claim and reveal the embodied state of not knowing, of empty not -knowing being. Drop your ego identification with the pronoun I and say not knowing while stayingconnected with and speaking from this Clear Deep Heart/Mind (under-standing).

Contraction/ExpansionTo help with the integration of body and mind and ground the experience through feeling, we will nowdo an exercise. Raise your hand and make a fist when you answer from your ego , I dont know. Openyour fist as you answer from your heart, saying not k nowing. Can you feel the opening and relaxationwithin your body and psyche when moving from your ego to Clear Deep Heart/Mind ?

Explanation: This koan realization allows you to experience the difference between the intellectualprocess of knowing versus the pure receptivity of being . From this depth of awareness, to say either Ido know or I dont know are the same, just relative dualistic thoughts and statements. In time, andwith enough practice, we eventually experience and integrate these two locations, the head and heart,as one locus. We now can have the amazing experience of actually speaking through our egoconnected with Clear Deep Heart/Mind . In not knowing there is freedom and infinite possibility.

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Facilitator Guide : After doing this several times, ask their controller if they understand this. Have themdescribe the difference in their physical and emotional experience when they respond from these twolocations. Once again, point out the difference between conceptual listening and deep listening. Fromyour position of close rapport, notice how the person says this. If they are still exclusively in their head,

but saying the words not knowing, you should be able to feel their ego contraction and sense theirconcern to get it right. If the answer is really coming from Clear Deep Heart/Mind , there will be aclarity and confidence that you can see, feel and hear. Often they will lean towards you if they are inClear Deep Heart/Mind . Have the others in attendance report their own experience of sensing andsharing t he participants expression of Clear Deep Heart/Mind . With sensitivity and humor, ask thegroup, Do you feel this? Do you believe the y are connected and speaking from this depth? Remember, you must demonstrate this experience and transmit this state.

If working with a group attending, have group members pair up and practice both I Dont Know vs. NotKnowing and Contraction/Expansion. Throughout this Mondo process, should you or they become

confused, remember to ring the bell mindfully to drop everyone back into Clear Deep Heart/Mind .

Facilitator: Sit one minute with the bell, then read:

Master Rumi says:Not Christian or Jew or Muslim, not Hindu

Buddhist, Sufi, or Zen. Not any religion

or cultural system. I am not from the Eastor the West, not out of the ocean or up

from the ground, not natural or ethereal, notcomposed of elements at all. I do not exist,

am not an entity in this world or in the next,did not descend from Adam and Eve or any

origin story. My place is placeless, a traceof the traceless. Neither body or soul.

I belong to the beloved, have seen the twoworlds as one and this one call to and know,

first, last, outer, inner, only thisbreath breathing human being.

There is a way between voice and presence where information flows.In disciplined silence this opens. With wandering talk this closes.

Facilitator: Sit another minute.

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Fif th Koan : What are you l ike , wh at are we l ike , a t th is depth ofc o n s c i o u s n e s s ?

What are you really like, what am I really like, what are we all like at this depth of consciousness, thisdepth of awareness? Describe our mind at this depth.

Use simple words and actually evoke this state of not knowing. Do not describe what arises withinyour consciousness what you think or feel or what is caused by the realization of this deeperconsciousness. Instead, describe and present this state of Clear Deep Heart/Mind .

May I lead you with a few questions? Are we time-bound here? Are we irritated here, no matter whatmay be going on out there? Are we constricted here? Are we afraid here? Are we angry here? Are wenoisy here? Are we aware here? Are we aware with an opinion or just purely aware? Now try andmove your awareness from your eyes to behind your eyes, into the darkness found here. Do you intuitthe infinite emptiness, infinite darkness that rests just behind your eyes? This is Shunyata, absolute

Emptiness.

We accept and require the following terms or synonyms: silent, vast, timeless, empty, fearless, dark,imperturbable, aware, peaceful, still, eternal . These words describe this state of awareness, not whatarises within this awareness.

Do you realize that within this koan realization you are claiming your fearless compassionate heart?This deep heart within each of us can never be broken. Your ego thought that this heart could bebroken. This heart opens infinitely and compassionately to the pain of this world. It is critical that youunderstand this. This heart does not close down or turn away from the pain in your life, nor does itneurotically drag it around weeping. From here, compassionate intelligence overrules emotionalreactivity.

Understand that within this depth of mind, you are just aware , not aware with an opinion . To beopinioned is an ego view. To be just aware is to be in empty/selfless mind, spirit or soul. Do you realizethat within this insight you are describing a Buddha, an Awakened One, and claiming your deeperconsciousness?

Explanation: This koan realization establishes language, word injunctions, signifiers that can nowaccess your Clear Deep Heart/Mind . These words construct a neuro-linguistic connection, a pathway toour deep spiritual nature and provide linguistic reminders that will activate this connection. We arelearning through experience that we can speak using our in the world ego while staying connectedwith this realization.

Facilitator Guide: When they state a word like silent, slow way down, lean in and ask them, Howsilent? When you use the signifier silent, they and you need to experience a deeper silence.

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Remember as a facilitator, you must transmit these subtle realizations. For example, when you expresssilent, everything within you comes to rest. When you state fearless, you are compassion embodied.

Once they start to experience and understand what awareness at this depth of being and consciousnessis actually like, tell them: Thought and feeling do not disturb, have never disturbed , this deep clarity of

our mind. Ask their Controller, Is this true for you? If so, you can remain aware of this ever-presentClear Deep Heart/Mind . This is our Zen mind, our meditative mind.

Make sure that they use words, signifiers, indicating their realization experience of vast openness,imperturbable silence, profound peace, etc., BUT do not expect or insist that they use your language.However, synonyms are required. Lead them, if necessary, to complete the list of signifiers. Rememberto ask the Controller to articulate new understanding at moments of insight. Have them repeat thechosen words and feel the connection to this state. Have them do this several times and give feedback.When you use the words vast, silent, timeless and fearless, you must transmit the state you are

referring to. Possibly reiterate the infant wholly unconditioned mind analogy here.

Facilitator: Sit one minute with the bell, then read:

Master Rumi says:

Quietness Inside this new love, die.

Your way begins on the other side.Become the sky.

Take an axe to the prison wall.

Escape.Walk out like someone suddenly born into color.

Do this now.You're covered with thick clouds.

Slide out the side. Die,and be quiet. Quietness is the surest sign

that you've died.Your old life was a frantic running

from silence.The speechless full moon

comes out now.Do this now.

Six th Koan: Now leave ou t you r words . Express you r new ins igh t w i th as i l en t ges tu re o f emb odied cons c iousness .

Now that you have experienced what we are talking about and have your words, signifiers to describethis, these signifiers can access and recall this mind. But words, these signifiers, are like fingers pointing

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at the moon. We want the understanding, experience and presentation of the moon in the sky, not justof the finger pointing upwards. Remember, this mind also includes your body. Now, express your newinsight using a silent expression of embodied consciousness. In other words, use your body andespecially your eyes to express this understanding in a non-verbal way. It can be a small gesture or

something more dramatic. Move spontaneously, in awareness of your Clear Deep Heart/Mind , throughyour ego but not exclusively from it.

Now, once again, consciously integrate this depth of realization, with and through your body. Whoare you? Answer in silence from and with your body, through your eyes.

Explanation: This koan realization manifests as a consciously integrated physical expression. Thisawakening includes your body and is enjoyed and revealed in physical action, and expressed clearlythrough your eyes. Your eyes in this case have become the windows into and access to Clear DeepHeart/Mind .

Facilitator Guide: If they are not embodying the gesture, demonstrate for them with your ownembodied gesture, b ut dont rush i t. Break a group into pairs and have them practice this several times.Use the Contraction/Expansion exercise (close and open the fist) from the fourth koan as an example.Remember, you transmit, transmit, transmit!

Facilitator: Sit two minutes with the bell.

Seven th Ko an: Choose a name fo r Clear Deep Heart/Mind. Cal l to andrespond f rom and wi th th i s awareness us ing th i s n ame. Cal l to and

r e s p o n d u s i n g y o u r c o m m o n n a m e .I will now call to your new name and have you respond from Clear Deep Heart/Mind. Use words, theexpression through your eyes and your chosen physical gesture in this response. Now that you havedone call and respon se with me, call to yourself using this name and respond from Clear DeepHeart/Mind.

Controller, do you think it might be a good idea to have your common name evoke Clear DeepHeart/Mind instead of your ego? Practice call and respon se using your common name to access ClearDeep Heart/Mind . After I call to you and you respond, call to yourself and respond. Who is showing upwhen you respond? Vastness, fearlessness, silence, timelessness, etc. and then, oh yes, your ego.

Explanation: With this koan realization, we create a pathway and practice a method to access ourClear Deep Heart/Mind . After experiencing and giving this state of consciousness a name and finallyour own name, we have established access to this consciousness.

Facilitator Guide: Provide name suggestions for them if necessary. What is important is that, whatevername they choose, they associate it with the adjectives describing their felt experience of Clear Deep

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Heart/Mind . Do this several times. Break a group into pairs and have them practice this. Now call themby their ordinary given name and have them respond from Clear Deep Heart/Mind . Point out hownecessary it is to understand this. In this way, whenever they hear their own name they can choose toenter into this state. Their common name becomes the signifier to access Clear Deep Heart/Mind .

Remember, when conducting this exercise, you must transmit this state, your realization! Ask their Controller, Are you getting this? Do you realize how helpful it will be to respond to your givenname from this fearless depth?

Facilitator: Sit two minutes with the bell.

Eigh th Koan: Does th i s Clear Deep Heart/Mind c o m e a n d g o ?Who comes and goes? Get in touch with your deepest Self. Feel this Clear Deep Heart/Mind , thisopenheartedness, in your body. Does this come and go? You your feeling, thinking ego comes and

goes. Your ego awareness of this comes and goes. It is good to remember that your ego vanishes everynight when you enter deep, dreamless sleep, and reappears when you wake up in the morning. Whenyou die, whatever may or may not persist, your sensing, feeling, thinking ego will cease. All sensing,including thought and feeling experienced through our physical form, will dissolve and return intoemptiness.

Wherever there is sentience, the ability to perceive, think or feel, there is this consciousness. Mentalforms cannot arise without empty awareness of mind in which they arise. Feel into this. Do youunderstand this, experience this, realize this? This Clear Deep Heart/Mind does not cannot come orgo.

Know that this Dhyana mind never comes and goes. Dhyana mind has no eyelids, never blinks, neverturns away. Wherever you are, no matter what is arising within you, this awake, silent, empty, fearlessClear Deep Heart/Mind is also here. Do you recognize that in owning this truth you now can claim yourfreedom? Claim your Awakening!

Explanation: With this koan realization, we claim and stabilize our insight. Clearly articulating thisinsight and philosophical understanding, we are no longer bound to deny this imperturbable presence.We always have been and are this mind. Within this realization, nothing can destabilize, frighten oroverwhelm our conscious awareness. Our ego remains intact and still functions, but can now be re-educated and transformed. We now know this depth of consciousness is right here, always here withinus.

Consider this: If we were to regress back down the time line to our infantile, unconditioned state ofmind, we would remember and experience a pure unconditioned awareness with no ego story, nowords, no language, no inside, no outside, no self, no other. When, from a mature perspective, weawaken to this depth of mind, we discover this is our Buddha mind.

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Facilitator Guide: Ask the Controller, Do you understand this koan and the significance of this truth inyour life? Are you willing to remember this and add this realization to your story ?

Be mindful throughout this dialog to not get lost or sidetracked into chatter or debate. These koans are not a jumping-off point for conceptual discussions! Stay on purpose! If difficulties arise, ask the

Controller to remember their commitment and come back into conscious dialog. Ask why they chose tocome to this Mondo sesshin. Point out that it is their choice to engage fully in this Mondo dialogue. Weare not asking their Controller to go away. We are asking their Controller to awaken, expand, matureand grow.

Facilitator: Sit two minutes with the bell.

Ninth Koan: How can you be abso lu te ly ce r tain tha t th i s Clear DeepHeart/Mind i s rea l?

What i s the f ir s t th ing you mu s t do to m ani fes t th i s r eal i za tion andund ers tand ing in your l i f e?

First, you now know from experience that this depth of consciousness is real. Are you sure? Have youreally just had this experience? Are you hallucinating? Are you absolutely certain? Is this real?

Second, you must claim this understanding. You claim your own insight! You only you! must choose to live this truth, to take your new seat. This seat will not be given to you. Only when you choose to livethis way, with absolute resolve, will this awakening manifest and bring meaning in your life.

Explanation: This koan realization establishes two equally important understandings. First, you have just had this Clear Deep Heart/Mind experience for yourself, and therefore know this beyond doubt tobe real. Second, and even more importantly, you must choose to live in this truth. We choose our newseat in insightful understanding, knowing and claiming that ego is just a temporary wholly conditionedfigment of imagination at the surface of our aware being. Recognize that you must choose. This is aphilosophical reorientation, a huge change in understanding, a kind of rebirth, a transformation. Areyou willing to choose this path right now?

Facilitator Guide: Many people struggle with the idea of having to choose this reality. First ask theirnewly informed Controller to choose and then ask the old reactive part of their ego to connect withtheir true nature and consciously also make this choice. When they are in agreement, ask them, Anydoubts? If they have doubts, it is their egos escape clause; be ready to challenge them dra maticallyand playfully.

Throughout this Mondo process, should you or they become confused, remember to ring the bellmindfully to drop everyone back into Clear Deep Heart/Mind .

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Facilitator: Sit two minutes with the bell.

Tenth K oan: What feel ings a r i se when y ou exper ience th i s ins igh t andu n d e r s t a n d i n g ?

Genuine insight requires both will and surrender. Awakening includes a willing surrender of ego andwillful presentation of insight and new understanding. With genuine insight and correct understanding,a sense of well-being and enjoyment becomes constant. We recognize and share moments of joyfulinsight whenever they arise during this Mondo process.

Explanation: Within this koan realization, you finally get the joke and feel the stability of Buddhamind, the unconditional love the compassion that is always right here within us. This good feeling isSamadhi! Through this recognition, you identify and claim your freedom and insight. Eventually, withenough meditation and emotional koan practice, this state of freedom and enjoyment becomesconstant: no more coming and going.

Facilitator Guide: Throughout this process, we identify and share moments of enjoyment that arecaused by realization of Clear Deep Heart/Mind . Samadhi, when experienced, is always expressed andrevealed through the eyes.-Look for it there, and acknowledge it when you see it. At last, joy comes inan insightful instant through realization and understanding. Demonstrate this by revealing and sharingyour own Samadhi!

The truth is that this Heart can never be broken.

Art icu la te Your Unders tand ing: Review the Ten Ko ans

1. Is it possible to just purely listen? Can you listen without an opinion?

2. Where is this deeper listening located within your body?

3. Who are you, who am I, who are we within this deep, heartfelt listening?

4. Now we will differentiate I Dont Know vs. Not Knowing.

5. What are you like, what are we like, at this depth of consciousness?

6. Now leave out your words. Express your new insight with a silent gesture of embodiedconsciousness.

7. Choose a name for Clear Deep Heart/Mind . Call to and respond from and with this awarenessusing this name. Call to and respond using your common name.

8. Does this Clear Deep Heart/Mind come and go?

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9. How can you be absolutely certain that this Clear Deep Heart/Mind is real? What is the first thingyou must do to manifest this realization and understanding in your life?

10. What feelings arise when you experience this insight and understanding?

Facilitator Guide: Compare old views and new understanding that developed in each koan. Compare

original answers to final answers. Monitor your teaching skills using the TRUCK method:

Did you Transmit the koan?Did they experience Realization (insight)?Did they Understand ?Did they Claim this understanding by articulating it?If so, you both Know !

Check in aga in wi th the newly in form ed Cont ro l l er

Now, please, slowly and carefully articulate what you have realized. What have you learned? What isnew in your understanding? How can this help in your job of controlling? Now answer the question,Who are you? Use the new signifiers you have chosen and compare these to your original answers.Be sure you recognize the significance of this exercise.

You have just confirmed how this new koan understanding has changed your view. Do you realize thatyou have access to this freedom all the time? Do you choose to enrich your view? Will you add thisnew experience and understanding of who you really are to your old job description? Will youremember this reality , and what youve just experienced ?

Just a moment of insight is not enough to accomplish lasting transformation. We must also be able tounderstand, clearly explain and claim our new view. The confused language initially used to answerthese koans reveals where we have been living in confusion and ignorance. This new languageexpressing insight and understanding reveals where we can now be seated in wisdom and compassion.

In order to fully integrate and realize this transformation in our daily lives, we must clearly articulatethe meaning of this experience. Until we can do this, it is as though it never happened.

The most important part of Mondo Zen practice is for you to take your koans out into the world. This isour Dharma, the practical teaching of the Buddha. In order to fully embody and express awakening in

your daily life, it is important for you to be able to communicate and facilitate this Mondo Zen processwith others, for both your benefit and theirs. Until you can authentically share this with others, you donot clearly understand your realization. You may not be called to teach this Dharma in any formal way,but until you are capable of teaching this Dharma, you will have difficulty owning and living thisDharma. Learn, share and teach this Dharma by embodying this Dharma! Live these realizations!

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Please know and remember that, to maintain and utilize this understanding, most of us require astrong and consistent concentration/meditation practice. Through your concentration practice, youbecome aware of and cultivate awareness of your deeper mind, develop the ability to remain non-reactive in the face of threat or insult, and have time to stop reacting and consciously respond.

Facilitator: Sit one minute with the bell, then read:

Ten Thousand Idiots

By Master HafizIt is always a danger

To aspirantsOn the

Path

When they begin

To believe andAct

As if the ten thousand idiotsWho so long ruled

And livedInside

Have all packed their bagsAnd skipped town

OrDied.

Facilitator: Sit one minute with the bell.

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THE KOAN PROCESS, PART II:

MONDO ZEN EMOTIONAL AWARENESS INTERVENTION KOANS,A ZEN TRANSMISSION

Medi ta t ion : Why B other?

The second part of our Mondo Zen protocol is designed to allow us to recognize, enlighten andtransform our habitual destructive emotional reactions. A well- trained Zen students life is anexpression of the marriage of wisdom (meditative mind) and compassion (unconditional love).Wisdom, the ability to remain present and aware in Clear Deep Heart/Mind , is only half of the work. Toembody compassion, we must change and transform our negative emotional reactions.

Living in confusion about the true deeper nature of our emotions, we react to them unconsciously,

superficially and destructively. The noise level of our emotional reactivity overrides/overpowers ourintelligence. This blocks both our insight into our true nature and our ability to experience compassion.In order to transform our habitual reactions, we must first change our understanding of our emotionsand stay awake! This is where meditative discipline is essential. Through concentration/meditationtraining we develop the ability to remain awake and present in the face of perceived insult or danger.This allows us to experience the entire emotional cognitive process, including the deeper feelings offear, sadness and concern that underlie our superficial negative reactions. In this way, our angstbecomes our liberation!

We consider the mind to have seven senses (thought and feeling are the sixth and seventh senses).

With meditative insight, emotional feeling is experienced as sensing that brings information, nodifferent in function from seeing, hearing, smelling, touching and tasting. From this depth ofwitnessing, a strong feeling is no different than a bright color or loud sound. It is essential that werecognize and understand this. Feeling is information . In order to respond rather than react , it isessential that we understand clearly the information brought to us from our deeper feelings. Considerthe freedom of relating to feeling in the same way we relate to our other senses.

We now ask you to address and transform your superficial, destructive or limiting emotional reactionsto feelings. With enough insight, you will realize that emoting before you get to the deep truth within

your feelings creates unnecessary suffering. Through emotional koan practice, we consciously chooseintelligent, compassionate responses to our feelings instead of unconscious, defensive andcounterproductive reactions. Controller, would you like to awaken and have a more consciousrelationship with your emotions?

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"Zen practice in the midst of activity is a million times superior to that pursued in silence."

Master Ta Hui

Facilitator: Sit one minute with the bell.

Eleven th Ko an: Has anyon e ever made you angry, shamed you or m adey o u d i s c o n n e c t, s h u t d o w n ?

Is violence, expressed as anger (external), shame (internal) or disconnection (internal), a feeling or anaction? When you experience a violent emotional reaction, what are you actually feeling?

Within this realization, anger, shame and disconnection are not considered to be, or experienced as,

feelings. They are recognized as chosen conscious or unconscious physical reactions to deeper feelingsof interest, fear, sadness and, ultimately, caring. They are interventions attempting to manipulate,control, protect and defend, or to disconnect and hide. With anger, I am choosing to strike out. Withshame, I am choosing to strike myself within. Whenever I shame myself I am acting on an introjectedfalse belief about myself. With disconnection, I turn away from the event and hide, I choose todisappear.

Think about the last time you experienced anger, shame or disconnection. Really drop into it, feel itinside of yourself. What are the true emotions beneath these reactions?

Once you experience and identify the deeper feelings, the primary feeling of fear and the adjacentfeeling of grief beneath the violent reaction, you are halfway there. Now, what is the deeper feelingcausing this fear and sadness? I am feeling afraid and sad because ? How about, I am afraidbecause I really care. Let this be clearly understood. Anger, shame and disconnection are confused,chosen reactions to fear, grief and deep caring. All emotional reactions or responses begin as un-opinionated awareness and interest. Fear, correctly understood and experienced, is really excitementand opportunity . Anger is really intense clarity of mind and deep caring.

We must realize and then remember that no one has ever shamed us, made us angry or made us

disconnect. We have chosen these reactions. For instance, recall a time when you reacted to the sameset of circumstances one time with violence and another time with intelligent reason. Recognize thatyou unconsciously or consciously chose both of your reactions. We can choose to be free from anger,shame and disconnection.

Explanation : The realization of this koan reveals that deep caring underlies all destructive emotionalreactions to feeling. It reveals that anger and shame and our other negative reactions are not primal

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feelings, but violent reactions preventing us from experiencing our deeper true feelings. Anger is aprojection, a violent intervention, a reaction to fear. Shame is a violent introjection, a reaction to fear.We need to hear the voice of shame as a question of our integrity, not a trigger of old beliefs.Disconnecting is a reaction to fear. Under our anger, shame and disconnection is fear, and adjacent to

fear lies grief. Under our fear/grief is genuine caring, compassion and love. When you understand this,you find the choice point to identify and transform former ignorant superficial negative reactions. Youunderstand the meaning, the message in those feelings and can then respond with wisdom andcompassion.

Consider this ringing phone analogy: feelings are telephone calls bringing information. Answer thisphone when it rings. Do not refuse to answer the phone (depression). Do not drag the phone around

jumping up and down shouting the phone is ringing (anxiety). Do not hit someone with the phone(anger), or blame yourself for its ringing (shame). Do not run away from the phone, or get sointoxicated, busy or stressed that you cannot hear it ringing (disconnection, denial). Answer the phone!

Get the message, the information in the feeling, then hang up the phone. Understand, and choose yourresponse. Stop mindlessly, unconsciously reacting to the phones ringing. Utilize your new insight andrespond mindfully when the emotional phone rings.

Facilitator Guide: Remember to ask the Controller to articulate new understanding at moments ofinsight. Ask their Controller, Do you get the joke? Can you feel the freedom? Are you willing toremember this and transform your life?

Three of our unconscious reactions to arising fear (anger, shame and disconnection) are caused byfight-flight-or-freeze survival instincts (neurochemical reflexes) and confused social conditioning fromunenlightened parenting. Our parents and educators were well-intended but, ignorant of this deepertruth, they unconsciously passed down the violent reactive behaviors of their own culture, parents andteachers. These inherited habits prevent us from experiencing our genuine deeper concern. Once weunderstand this and practice emotional koans, we no longer need to act out these ancient,unconscious reactive patterns: the historical hysterical.

Our neurobiology evolved to serve us in a very different world, where stress often indicated alegitimate threat to physical survival. The emotional energy of fight-or-flight triggers intensephysiological reactions that are actually asking us to wake up, be aware to get the information in the

feeling and respond not to just react. We have always chosen our reactions to feelings. Violence,expressed as anger or shame, disconnection and all other negative reactions, is an ignorant choice.Philosophically reoriented and awakened in meditative mind, we are free to make other choices.

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Twelf th koan : S i l en t ly, th rough your eyes and w i th your body , demons t ra tethe in tense c lar i ty that always ar ises before yo u ch oo se a negat ivereact ion. Now s how m e Clear Deep Hear t /Mind.

Remember, anger, shame, disconnection and all other negative reactions begin as interest leading to

fear. For fear to arise there must first be interest, excitement and concern. We must learn to recognizethis arising energy and utilize it. We do not deny the intense feeling or repress it. We feel interest, thenconcern, fear/sadness, and then after clearly understanding the information in the concern, we choose our reaction. Our conditioning brings our reactions. These habits prevent our experiencing thecompassionate delight of our interest and concern. And, we miss the information and understandingthat is the purpose of all our emotional feelings.

If you clearly understand this and are willing, you can recognize and use this arising energy and theseold habits as a means of emotional transformation and enlightenment. When habitual negative

emotional reactions are triggered, remember this truth and transform them! Instead of reactingviolently or suppressing feelings, achieving frustration and emotional numbness the historicalhysterical all of this energy is now available to transform and enlighten you.

One extreme example of people choosing their emotional reactions is masochism. We do notrecommend it as a practice, but it is interesting to note that the masochist s choosing a pleasurablereaction to pain and the usual choosing of a fear reaction to pain is indeed quite a different choice.

Through our practice we awaken and experience feeling as information , understand the message in thefeeling, and respond compassionately. We can remain non-reactive and open in the face of anything

ego perceives as an insult. We can now live fearlessly with an open heart.

From Clear Deep Heart/Mind , there is always time to understand and respond. The practice ofmeditation is the practice of being awake. If I am truly compassionately awake, disconnecting, violentanger, shame, jealousy and all other negative emotional reactions become inconceivable.

Feel the intense clear energy arising before your reaction. Recognize and identify this energy arisingfrom Clear Deep Heart/Mind . Now demonstrate this pure energy, express this with a silent gesture.Move your body, lean in and use your eyes. Abide in this delightful conscious energy. This is Dhyana.This is Clear Deep Heart/Mind .

Who did this energy call to before your ego and emotional deconstruction, re-education and re-construction? (The reactive self) Who does this energy call to now? (The responsive self, your Buddha,your newly awakened Controller)

Facilitator Guide: Now, have them silently, with their body, show the intense clarity of mind and thedeep caring that always arises before reactive disconnection, anger or shame. Have them use their eyes

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to show the concern and lean in. If necessary, demonstrate this for them. Repeat this several times untilthey get the joke. Be sure that they clearly understand.

Now, have the group pair up and practice this. Help them recognize and experience the fact that thisenergy, this clarity, care and presence, arises from the exact Clear Deep Heart/Mind that they accessed

earlier when asked to present meditative mind not using words (Koan 6). They are responding in thesame way they did to their name, chosen in Koan 7. Be sure to point this out.

Anger and shame do not equal violence. Anger and shame do not demand violence.

Anger and shame begin as intense non-violent awareness.

The Buddha once was walking with some disciples. He came into a town where his reputation as ateacher preceded him. A local man ran up to the Buddha as soon as he saw him and spit violently in hisface. The Buddha calmly walked on, not reacting in the slightest. When he sat down to eat, one of his

disciples could no longer contain himself. Master, he said, How is it you didnt react at all to that? Not even a glance or a word? The Buddha looked at him and smiled. If a man leaves a gift on yourdoorste p, and you choose to not bring it inside, whose gift is it?

Explanation: With this koan, we realize that this energy arising is the exact same energy that wesilently expressed in Koan 6 and responded with in Koan 7. We realize that, at this point, there isalways time to interrupt our reaction, understand our deeper feelings and choose a consciousresponse. This is where our concentration meditation practice (mindful awareness) and compassionculminate in the ability to stay fiercely present and choose non-reactive, conscious, compassionate

responses in our daily lives. Here, we are no longer bound by hysterical historical emotional reactions,from ourselves or in reaction to anyone or anything else. We are free at last.

Facilitator: Sit two minutes with the bell, then read:

The Guest House

By Master Rumi

This being human is a guest house.Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture,

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still, treat each guest honorably.He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,meet them at the door laughing, invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes.Because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

Facilitator: Sit two minutes with the bell.

Thir teenth K oan: Visual ize yours el f t ransform ing a habi tual negat ivereac t ion in to a cons c ious c om pass iona te respon se .

Where in your life do you experience fear and choose a negative emotional reaction? Where have youviolently reacted to fear with anger, jealousy, shame or envy, or chosen to disconnect, to shut down?You can now make another choice. If you do not choose to awaken, where in your life will this continueto happen?

Facilitator Guide: Let the participant tell their story. Have them recognize their habitual reaction and feel the fear and sadness beneath. Then invite them to go deeper and feel the genuine deep caringcausing their fear. Unpack and deconstruct their experience, and slow it WAY down. Remember the

phone analogy. Feeling is visceral, feeling is asking for a measurable, discernable response, a newbehavior or a transformation of feeling. Feeling is saying, show me!

Now that you are in touch with Clear Deep Heart/Mind , recognize your deeper concern. What is themessage contained within this feeling of concern? What are you concerned about? Of what are youafraid? What is it that really matters here? Now that you understand, respond with compassionateintelligence. Transform your disturbing emotional reaction. Now, what is your new chosencompassionate response? What will you do and say differently, and what response might you receive?

If you clearly understand, you are now free from this reactive pattern. How does this newunderstanding make you feel? Slowly and carefully articulate what you have experienced. What haveyou learned? What is new in your understanding? What have you realized? Where else will this

realization help in your everyday life?

How do you know this is real, and what must you do to manifest this reality in your life? (This is realand I choose it.) You are now free. You are now more enlightened. Any doubts?

Explanation: This koan realization transforms and enlightens your philosophical and emotionalunderstanding. You can now live the truth that violent or other troublesome emotional reactions are

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not emotional problems at all. After you have changed your understanding, you can find theinformation in feelings, and your habitual emotional problems become exciting opportunities toawaken and respond. In this way, we use our psychological suffering to find freedom! Our angst hastruly become our liberation. Finally, conscious compassionate choice response replaces habitual

reaction.Facilitator Guide: Remember to ask the Controller to articulate new understanding at moments ofinsight. Ask if there are any doubts.

The answer to any doubts should be an emphatic NO . If they hesitate at all, they are setting up anescape clause. Do not allow this kind of wavering! Continue to dialog with them until they can actuallytake their seat here and claim this new awareness as their own. This is the new voice of the awakenedController.

Share a brief story from your life practice where you have used this koan to liberate yourself fromanger, shame, shutting down, jealousy, envy or some other negative violent reaction. Be succinct!

"Those who practice only in silence cannot establish their freedom when entering into activity. Whenthey engage in worldly activities, their satori will disappear completely."

Master Hakuin

Mondo Zen practice accelerates and facilitates the completion of psychotherapy. We need torecognize angst as information. Our reactions to superficial feelings are the problem. If you understandthis and recognize the angst for what it is information you can do an Awareness Intervention andrespond instead of react. Recognizing the arising angst as information is the magic. It is not necessaryto know the details of how you established that immature, ignorant reaction. This process is Realreincarnation, Mondo style!

Art icu la te Your Und ers tanding : Review K oans 11, 12 and 13

11: Has anyone ever made you angry, shamed you or made you disconnect, shut down?

12: Silently express the intense clarity that always arises before you choose a negative reaction. Nowshow me Clear Deep Heart/Mind.

13: Visualize yourself transforming a habitual negative emotional reaction into a consciouscompassionate response.

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We will now perform a Kata, a physical interruption and transformation of this physical/emotionalcontraction that we previously experienced as violent anger, shame or shutting down.

First round: ANGERStand in complete stillness, Wu Chi.

Conjure up the feeling in your body of reacting to fear with violent anger.Slowly bring your hands in front of you and begin to make fists as if you were about to fight.Stop! Change directions.Open the hands and press your palms away from you at chest height, fingers pointing up as you releasethe contraction.Slowly and with absolute clarity and understanding, softly shout the words Know/No .I know better than this and no to the reaction.Feel the clear boundary, fear, sadness and underlying truth of deep caring. The fear energy that arisesbefore your anger reaction is sacred. Violent behavior is a choice. Make your choice.

Second Round: SHAMEReturn to complete stillness, Wu Chi.Conjure up the feeling of shame as you feel shame's heaviness begin to weigh you down.Stop! Change directions.Slowly push your palms towards the ground and slightly behind your hips, as if your palms werepressing your torso forward.Open and press your chest forward and open your eyes wider as you feel your power and release theshame contraction.Slowly and with absolute clarity and understanding, softly shout the words Know/No.I know better than this and no to the reactionFeel the clear boundary and deep caring beneath the shame. Shame is the introjection of some others

voice, blaming you. Your shame was a choice.Feel the caring. Hear the question, Are you in integrity ? Dont abuse yourself, answer the question .

Third Round: DISCONNECTIONReturn to complete stillness, Wu Chi.Conjure up the feeling of checking out, avoiding, denying, and disconnecting in your body.Turn yourself (head, body) away towards one side, and slightly lean back.Stop! Change directions.Slowly bring your hands up to your head with your palms facing your ears as you lean forwards into thepresent moment.

Open your eyes, feel the power of your presence, and face whatever you were avoiding.Slowly with absolute clarity and understanding, softly shout the words Know/No.I know better than this and no to the reactionFeel the clear boundary and deep caring. Disconnection, the escape through denial, the turning awayfrom what is, was a choice.Return to stillness, Wu Chi.Use the energy and lean back into life.

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Fourth Round:Feel deeply the freedom of your new choices.Smile, throw both hands up above your shoulders and shout Swaha! (Yes!). Let this swaha take you right into a round of sacred laughter.Swaha, ha, ha ha

Celebrate your new understanding and experience.Remember, life is given to celebrate, not to be celibate.

Sacred Laug hter

Now let us explore Sacred Laughter together. In the past, we disconnected or reacted to fear withviolence as anger, shame, jealousy, envy and the like. Now instead, we will practice responding withlaughter.

First Round - Remember a recent incident where you (unconsciously) chose to react to fear with angeror shame, and laugh with the realization of how foolish and counterproductive this choice has alwaysbeen. It is always the wrong choice. Admit it. This is amusing. Get the joke! With this laughter, releaseand let go of any residual tension felt in your physical-emotional body (these two are not separate).

Second Round - Close your eyes and imagine a future incident where you would normally react to fearviolently with anger or shame or you would disconnect. Feel the physical contraction. As the feelingarises, recognize the empty clear mind in which this feeling is arising. Feel the concern within thatclarity. Stay connected with the feeling. Slowly open your eyes, inhale deeply, and as you begin toexhale, express this not as shame or anger or shutting down but with laughter. Experience the difficultyand strangeness of responding with laughter instead of reacting habitually. This is practice in the face

of insult. Release the physical emotional contraction. Observe the quality of your consciousness duringand after the process. Enjoy yourself! Get the joke! No one has ever shamed you, made you angry ormade you disappear. You have unconsciously chosen shame, anger or disconnection. Now that youhave experienced this Sacred Laughter transformation, and realize that anger, shame anddisconnection are ignorant choices, what will you do differently? How will you choose to respond thenext time this situation arises? And how do you imagine this conscious response might be received?

Third Round - Laugh from the depth of your being for no reason other than joy. Start with a subtlesmile connected to your realization of the fearless core of your being, and let it build and releasenaturally and completely.

Explain and demonstrate the release of the physical/emotional contraction when choosing laughter asthe alternative expression. Understanding is incomplete until the physical emotional contraction isreleased. Emotion is visceral.

Intention: To practice a skillful method that transforms negative reactions into positive, enjoyableresponses. Feeling is just information! Feeling is sensing, and sensing brings information. This

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information deserves a conscious response, not a habitual reaction. We do not need to reacthabitually, foolishly, violently or immaturely. We do not need to repress these wonderful, richenergies. We need neither fear nor deny them. We can use them to hurt or to liberate, to be violent orloving. Through this practice, our angst is our liberation.

Facilitator, read:

Master Hafiz reminds us:

Laughter

What is laughter? What is laughter?It is God waking up! O it is God waking up!

It is the sun poking its sweet head outFrom behind a cloud

You have been carrying too long,

Veiling your eyes and heart.

It is Light breaking ground for a great StructureThat is your Real body - called Truth.

It is happiness applauding itself and then taking flightTo embrace everyone and everything in this world.

Laughter is the polestarHeld in the sky by our Beloved,

Who eternally says,

"Yes, dear ones, come this way,Come this way towards Me and Love!

Come with your tender mouths movingAnd your beautiful tongues conducting songs

And with your movements - your magic movementsOf hands and feet and glands and cells - Dancing!

Know that to God's Eye,All movement is a Wondrous Language,And Music - such exquisite, wild Music!"

O what is laughter, Hafiz?What is this precious love and laughter

Budding in our hearts?

It is the glorious soundOf a soul waking up!

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Emo tional Phi loso phic al Re-indo ctr inat ion

The Tr uth about Negative EmotionsLet us be sure to understand what we just experienced. The root of the problem is not our superficial

negative emotional reactions, but our philosophical beliefs. It is our ignorance of our deeper feelingsand failure to understand the information within these feelings that causes our reactive suffering.

To say I feel angry is absurd it reveals a depth of confusion and ignorance of the deeper truth andnature of emotions. The truth is that we feel fear, grief and concern and choose to react with violence.That seemed like the best way of intervening, of attempting to control the world and relievediscomfort. With this new view, anger expressed as violence is just one possible response to fear, andnot a very good one. External conditions do not cause anger to be projected as violence; internalchoice does.

Emotional feeling is just another sense bringing information to our consciousness. Before we chooseour reaction to our feeling, there is always a field of pure awareness and energy present and available.When we recognize and experience this clarity and intensity of awareness as it arises, we can use itmindfully to alleviate our suffering and experience emotion